Exit Through The Gift Shop

Feb 3, 2017
Originally published on June 2, 2017 8:19 am

It's time for the Ask Me Another Museum Tour! In this gift that keeps giving, contestants guess the famous historical figure, based on a description of a souvenir from their museum's gift store.

Heard on Kathleen Madigan: Life On The Road

Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Let's go to your next game, which is all about historical souvenirs. Kaiya, what's the kitschiest thing you own?

KAIYA LYONS: I have a collection of president Barbies.

EISENBERG: What?

LYONS: I do. I do.

(APPLAUSE)

LYONS: Barbie runs for president every four years. I don't know if you guys knew this.

EISENBERG: No.

LYONS: And this year, there was a double ticket. Two females - president and vice president.

EISENBERG: And?

LYONS: And I own it.

EISENBERG: Yeah?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Rob, what is the kitschiest thing you own?

ROB MARTINEZ: I have a life-sized dummy that I use for stunts...

(LAUGHTER)

MARTINEZ: ...For, like, comedy stuff, you know, when we need, like, a - when we need a dummy.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Or you need something...

JONATHAN COULTON: That's why they hired me, Rob. That's what I'm doing.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Contestants, as you know from experience, when you get kicked off this show, you are forced to exit through the gift shop, where you can buy Ophira wigs, JoCo bobbleheads and Art Chung signature underpants...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: ...Known as Chundies (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: This game, however, is about gift shops at museums, libraries and historical sites dedicated to famous people. I'll describe the doodads for sale. You have to identify the person the museum is dedicated to. Rob, you won the last game. So you win this, and you go right to the final round. Kaiya, you need to win this, or you'll receive a parting gift of my husband's tiny-spoon collection, which I have removed from our home without his knowledge.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: OK, here we go. For under 10 euros, what classical composer's birthplace museum in Salzburg, Austria, sells a rubber ducky sporting a white wig?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Rob.

MARTINEZ: Mozart?

EISENBERG: Yeah. Of course, yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: What civil-rights leader inspired an institution in Atlanta, Ga., where you can be inspired to buy a mug for $9.99 that features the same phrase written in a dozen languages, including yo tengo un sueno.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Rob.

MARTINEZ: Martin Luther King Jr.

EISENBERG: That is correct, yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: The prairie sure does get cold at night. You're going to want to pick up this $50 sweatshirt that reads Walnut Grove, Minn., in the gift shop of that town's museum dedicated to what author?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Kaiyah, I felt like you knew this one from the first sentence.

LYONS: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: I saw your face. What do you got?

LYONS: Laura Ingalls Wilder.

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(LAUGHTER)

LYONS: I've been there.

EISENBERG: You've been there.

LYONS: I have been there.

EISENBERG: And?

LYONS: And it's just a little house on the prairie.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It is just a little house on the prairie. Are you a fan of Anne Hathaway? Yeah, we mean the 16th century one, of course. For 12 pounds, you can buy a bottle of Anne Hathaway's bath and shower creme at the Stratford-upon-Avon museum dedicated to what playwright?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Kaiya.

LYONS: William Shakespeare.

EISENBERG: William Shakespeare is correct, yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: This is your last clue. There's no place like whose museum in Grand Rapids, Minn., where you can buy for $10.50 plus tax a pair of ruby-slipper earrings?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

LYONS: Is it Judy Garland?

EISENBERG: Kaiya is correct - Judy Garland.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Puzzle guru Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

PUZZLE GURU ART CHUNG: Kaiya, your Minnesota roots came in handy. You've tied it up.

LYONS: (Laughter).

(APPLAUSE)

CHUNG: We're tied one game a piece. We're going to go to a quick game 3. I'm going to give you a category, and you'll go back and forth, naming things fall into that category. The first contestant to mess up by giving a wrong answer, repeating an answer or taking too long will be eliminated. Buzz in to answer first. Here's your category. Name the 11 most expensive properties on a classic Monopoly board.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

CHUNG: Rob, you're first.

MARTINEZ: Park Place.

CHUNG: Park Place is correct. Kaiya.

LYONS: (Laughter) The Reading Railroad.

CHUNG: I'm sorry. The railroads are not one of the most expensive properties. The remaining answers were Boardwalk, Pennsylvania Avenue, North Carolina Avenue, Pacific, Marvin Gardens, Ventnor, Atlantic, Illinois, Indiana and Kentucky. I'm sorry. We're going to have to say goodbye to Kaiya again.

LYONS: (Laughter).

CHUNG: Rob, congratulations. You're moving on.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: It's settled. Our finalists are Sonny and Rob. They'll face off in our final round at the end of the show. And ASK ME ANOTHER is hitting the road. We are going to give the Liberty Bell a new crack. That's right. We're headed to Philadelphia for a live show. We'll be at the Keswick Theatre on February 24. Tickets and information on how to be a contestant at amatickets.org.

Coming up, don't get mad again. Comedian Kathleen Madigan is here. And she'll play a game about life lessons learned as a touring comedian against a surprise opponent. I'm Ophira Eisenberg. And you're listening to ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.