JPR FUND DRIVE DRAWINGS | OFFICIAL CONTEST RULES
No Contribution is Necessary -- Making a Contribution Will Not Increase Your Chances of Winning
Making a contribution will also not fend off baldness or bad poetry. But it will not decrease your chances of winning either. And face it: if you’ve come to this website and are reading the rules, you’re almost certainly an engaged listener who uses JPR's service enough to kick in a few bucks to support it. You really have to ask yourself: Wouldn’t Alexander Hamilton wear a happier expression if you donated his twenty little dollars to support JPR? Wouldn’t you too? Of course, if you have serious monetary challenges, we understand. And we’re glad you’re listening no matter what.
How to Enter
Anyone who calls Jefferson Public Radio and provides their name, address and phone number during the dates and times announced during the drive dates will be entered. Our phone operators are kind, ethical JPR volunteers who will safeguard your privacy. We will not sell your name, and we will not even drive by your house to question why you painted it that strange color. You can also enter online at www.ijpr.org (simply record a zero pledge amount and check the "drawing only" box) or send your name, address and phone number via email to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Winners will be randomly selected. Deadlines for individual drawing prizes will be announced during the fund drive and will be adhered to. Only one entry per household will be eligible. No contribution is necessary. Is that clear?
Anyone can enter the giveaways except persons who are current employees of Jefferson Public Radio and its related organization, the JPR Foundation, their immediate family or persons living in the same household. The giveaways are open to all United States residents. Human residents, that is. Leave your gerbils out of this. Void where prohibited by law. Winners must be 18 years of age or older, and still breathing.
Selection and Notification of Winners
Winners will be contacted by phone. If we are unable to reach the winner or the winner is unable to accept the prize within five (5) calendar days, then the unawarded prize will go to the first back-up and subsequent back-ups thereof until the prize is awarded. The chances of winning are dependent upon the number of eligible entries. They are also dependent upon the earth’s continued existence. Should the entire planet be eaten by ravenous moths, we reserve the right to hire Oliver Stone to make a film about it.
Winner is responsible for any and all costs associated with claiming and using the prize, including but not limited to transportation. Good luck only takes you so far. Prize is nontransferable, is not good for cash, and cannot be exchanged for other merchandise. It also cannot be turned into pure gold by using the tricks of cheap stage magicians; nor beamed up in a Star Trek manner. Winner will receive the prize via the delivery service selected by the JPR Foundation. If singing bicycle messengers are used, we guarantee they will be fully clothed at the time of delivery. By participating in these drawings, participants agree to be bound by the Official Rules; and agree that Jefferson Public Radio and related organizations, their agents and employees have no liability whatsoever for any injuries, losses, or damages of any kind which result from use of the prize, or by participation in the contest. We are also not responsible for all the other things that happen in your life. Get over it. Jefferson Public Radio or its related organizations may use winner's name and likeness for advertising, fundraising, promotional or publicity purposes without further compensation. Taxes and expenses as a result of winning this prize are the responsibility of the winner. However, if you suddenly have lots of new-found friends as a result, we reserve the right to take credit for it. Beware of long-lost “relatives” who do not resemble you.
Surgeon General's Warning
Most JPR fund drive drawing prizes are not edible, and should not be taken internally without medical supervision. Use of prizes to browbeat or bribe public officials is prohibited —and we have really good lawyers. Side effects of the misuse of JPR fund drive prizes may include, but not be limited to, a sudden existential questioning of purpose and an obsessive compulsion to talk back to the radio.
If any winner and/or non-winner becomes a whiner, their complaints may anonymously be served at the annual JPR Whine Tasting, and if found to be bitter, will be spit out immediately into the nearest cuspidor. Any aftertaste will surely be remembered for months to come.