Think about the number of times you meant to say something soothing or encouraging, and the person receiving took it the wrong way.
Was it them, or you? It might have been you.
We often say the wrong thing at the right time, and frequently, a better choice of words would have made the difference.
Marriage and family therapist Carl Alasko has some ideas for getting the words right in his book Say This, Not That: A Foolproof Guide to Effective Interpersonal Communication.